Remembering

My dear friend sent this to me today, as Aptil 1 is a special day for him. I honor Linda and my friend this morning...

My best friend Linda M. died on April 1, 2007 after a long battle with Lymphoma. I never thought her and I would develop a bond as deep as the one we had. I was the first one to fall ill. I suffered my massive stroke in June of 2005. I'll never forget the support she gave me during my recovery. She knew I felt isolated in my house, and often stopped by for lunch. There were many days when I was literally on the verge of taking my life... the phone would ring. It would be Linda wanting to come by during her break. She probably saved my life just by picking up the phone.
Over the past couple of years I would spend April 1 crying, and remembering... and more often than not... drinking. I often wonder what Linda would think about my life now. What she would say about, the move, the Parkinsons... so many things! I miss talking to her. I miss our conversations looking out at the ocean at her place in Imperial Beach. What a VIEW that was. The time that I was able to spend with her during her illness is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I learned so much about life, and death. And the imbtween that happens when you're terminally ill. She shared her feelings openly and honestly. I guess in some ways we shared something in common. She was staring death in the face, and it was a face I was familiar with. I wasn't afraid of dying after my stroke. I was afraid of living. And here was this woman that meant the world to me, and all she wanted to do was LIVE.
I still have Linda's ashes. I spread some of them at the Valley of the Temples in Oahu. And I'm going to spend April 1st surrounded by new friends at work that I adore. People that will probably change my life AGAIN. Isn't that the wonderful thing? Life keeps going regardless. You just have to keep going with it. I'm going to laugh a LOT, and NOT cry. For the first time in a long time... I feel Linda with me. Pushing me on. I felt it back in December, and have every day since.

Where ever you are Linda... I love you. And I finally did it.

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