Enough with the Lymphoma-Based Cancer Phonies!

Cancer phonies are the many-headed Hydra – arrest one, subject him or her to public shame and the judicial system – no problem, another springs up before we can finish wagging our collective finger.

The Latest Alleged Cancer Phony

The latest alleged phony joins the ever-growing list of such phonies who mysteriously decide to exploit lymphoma. Michelle Mundy, 38, from Green Township, Ohio, had been working, sadly, as a nurse in a retirement community. She is alleged to have started telling people she had "stage four lymphoma," according to the Dayton Daily News. The Daily says court records indicate that Mundy confessed to police. This didn't stop her from entering a not-guilty plea in court.

Unmasked

So how was Mundy allegedly unmasked? Sheer laziness. She told people about scheduled anticancer treatment dates at a local hospital. When a group of concerned friends went to give her moral support, they learned that she wasn't even a patient, and the fraud began its collapse. Randomly throwing out dates and not for a moment believing that other people actually care enough is lazy, cynical and sad.

A Failure of Commitment

Committing one's self to the fraud seems to be the key to the success or failure of most phonies. Brittany Ozarowski's decision to start using a wheelchair was equal parts obscene and absurd, but she failed to back it up with a head shave. Her full head of hair despite being subjected to chemotherapy made her supporters suspicious.

The fact that not all chemotherapy causes hair loss, and not all cancer patients receiving chemotherapy endure hair loss, adds some levity to that otherwise sickening case, since she was taken down by a widespread cultural misperception.

What makes Ozarowski seem vain and Mundy seem lazy is that some of their fellow phonies have gone to incredible extremes to carry out their fraud.

In terms of all-out commitment, no one can hold a candle to Ashley Anne Kirilow. Her epic before-and-after pictures are so totally and completely convincing that on sight I can't imagine anyone not falling for her scam.

Dr. Johnny Fever Saves the Day

If there is a single bright spot in this most recent cancer phony case, a sole silver lining in this cloud, for me it is finding out that there is a WKRC in Cincinnati. It's not exactly the same, but close enough.