my wife has stage #4 Hodgkin's lymphoma and considers my help,I.e./ finding a support group, intrusive, what can I do?

Hi there. I am real sorry to hear about your situation. I have been going through the same thing with my brother who was diagnosed some time ago and is now in treatment. I had some great advice from people here and I realized that I had to do what he wanted. He was going through such a rough time that I felt like I needed to be there at all times but then realized that I should be there when and where he needs me. Sometimes we just hang out together and don't even talk. The company is enough. I have learned not to be overbearing. Let her know that you are there and will do anything that she wants. That level of support means a lot. Many people beat this disease so I pray that your ex-wife will as well. I hope this helps

Hi
Sir my wife is suffred hodgkin lyumphoma
actully I cant speak english so pls
understand my language i am married last
one year and after 8 month i know she is
suffred hodgkin lyumphoma now 17 march 2009 is first
kemo and doctors prescrtoptin is 8 cyles after 15 days
i want to tell that after treatment she can pregnent
pls tell me yes or no and now can i both sex toghether.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear your sitaution too. I have been clear for 2 years following a stem cell transplant in 2007.

I was the same as your wife during my experience and found that I needed to do as much as possible by myself - I didn't even like my husband attending appointments with me. People respected my choices, and for that I was really grateful, but they also found ways to support me that suited them and me. You can make her the kind of food she fancies, when she fancies it, for example, or you can just listen to her. Or you can be there at night when she's scared. There are lots of things, but you'll need to find your way together.

You don't say how long your wife has been dignosed and it may be that she's still getting used to how she wants to handle things. I can see how difficult it is for those around her, but you really do need to go at her pace for now. I also found that my way of coping alone made it difficult to recover, emotionally, when everything was over. She may find she wants to access more support groups further down the line.

But you also need to think about yourself and find ways to support yourself and cope. I'm afraid these sound like platitudes and aren't really helpful, but I do know that everyone finds a different way to cope. I wish you all the very best and hope that my situation - healthy for 2 years - gives you some encouragement.

Hi again, I've just seen elsewhere on the forum that you have a 6 year old. My daughter was between 18 months and 6 during my illness and the thing that my husband did for me that was more important than anything else was the care of our daughter when I simply felt unable, either because I was too tired, too ill or in hospital. I never, ever worried that she wasn't ok, because I always knew he was putting her first. It was really important to me. I hope that helps.

So sorry to hear this :(.