The Complicated and the Simple

The complicated version is "Primary Mediastinal Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma" (PMBCL). Slightly less complicated is the phrase: "Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma". The simplest term of all is "cancer".

The complicated version of my treatment regimen of the moment is: Rituximab, Cytoxan, Doxorubicin, Vincristine and Prednisone. Slightly less complicated is the acronym: R-CHOP. Simply put: "chemotherapy". Radiation will undoubtedly be a factor, but we're not there yet.

The complicated version is that I'm a forty-year old divorced mother of two teenaged kids. I have a full time job I'd like to get back to. I have a mortgage. I have hobbies, vocations and avocations. I have friends and family. I have responsibilities to myself and others. I'd like to think I have potential not yet realized.

Slightly less complicated is the phrase: I have quite a lot to live for.

Simply put: I don't actually want to die.

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