Hair today...gone tomorrow

Well for those of you who do not already know...I mustered up enough courage and shaved my head last night. Saying it was a hard decision would be an understatement. In the matter of just a couple of days, my hair had started falling out like crazy! To the point where I was getting quite annoyed by it. I would simply touch my hair and there would be a large amount that was coming out...and my shower drain was even beginning to clog. I know that I said hair does not define a person...and I am not going back on what I said, but it does change the way I feel as a woman...just not quite as feminine, and that part has been tough to deal with. As a girl, hair is just my "thing!" I would take hair vitamins to make it grow longer and would wear hair extensions to make it more "full" when going out for a special event. To go from that, to having cancer and losing my hair from chemo, and then being bald all in the matter of just a couple of months, is a little bit hard for me to swallow. 
I am glad that I shaved it though, it made me feel more in "control" of the situation. I had thought about just waiting until most of my hair was gone on it's own before shaving it, but I was already very emotional and upset about seeing it fall out to begin with, so I knew that would be a bad idea. If it is true what I have heard, and the hair falling out is a good sign that chemo is working, than for that I am very happy and am willing to accept my hair loss and new "baldness" as an assurance that I am happily on my way to being cancer free! 
It is so crazy how all of this is happening. Sometimes I find myself in disbelief when I really sit and think about it. The other night while sitting down at the dinner table with my mom and sister, it just came to me and I blurted out "Why does all of this have to happen to me?!" "What did I do that was so wrong to deserve this?!" Of course there is no way that anyone can answer that, but it just sort of came out of my mouth and I got that panicky feeling that I still cannot believe that I am now a cancer patient in the middle of chemotherapy treatment! Life is just so unpredictable. 
Maybe one of these blog posts, I will post a full "face pic" of my new "hairdo," but for now I am still getting used to it, and am quite startled when walking by a mirror or see my reflection anywhere. I have been wearing a beanie hat around the house and to sleep...I sure took advantage of the warmth and insulation that hair provides, my head is now freezing without some sort of cover on it.
My sister and brother-in-law did the "honors" last night and shaved my head for me, here are a couple of random pics of that...I did not post the pictures of my face because I was crying and very emotional with red, tear-filled eyes...but at least with these, you all have an idea of what my new "hairdo" looks like. 
The plus side of being bald; I will be saving so much money (and time) now! No more getting my hair done, buying my expensive shampoos/conditioners, and other styling products. Only organic baby shampoo for me. 

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