Brain Fuzz Dreamland

I tried to snap a nice photo of me smiling to text-message to Kaitlin to say "good luck on your toe mole removal today" but I couldn't smile because my cheeks hurt too much. I think this is the first day where I really hate cancer and really really hate the side effects of chemo. I don't even know why I'm bothering to write a blog post because I don't actually have much to say. Today just seems to be slipping me by. I feel confused, dazed, dysfunctional, dizzy, and weak. My friend Renee said "It does my heart good to hear you being a tad negative about it today, Chris. You have been so upbeat about all the sucky stuff." I suppose she's right, and it's good for me to be honest with my emotions. Today I just wish that I could feel how I did last week... healthy, fit, happy, and energetic.

I really like the band Sigur Ros, ever since my friend Kris introduced them to me perhaps six years ago. I have never looked up a translation for the lyrics so I don't know what they're actually singing about (and prefer to keep it that way) but the musicality and videography of this song seems to fit well with how I feel right now. Not negative, but rather dream-like, trudging toward a healthier tomorrow.

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